At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
