You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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