Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
