North Korea, Best Korea!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
