I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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