I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
