She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
