awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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