she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
