I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
