Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
