I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
