honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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