woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
