I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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