is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
