Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
