Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
