i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
