I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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