haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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