Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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