Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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