when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
