also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
