you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The beer is more important than you right now.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
