so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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