Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Boobs speak an international language.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
