i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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