i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
