A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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