apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
