If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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