even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
