Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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