Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
they're like a gay fantastic four
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
