just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
