i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
