I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
