I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
