For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
