I wish I could teleport
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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