Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
