You really coming over, don't trick.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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