Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
