Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
