I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
