I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
