he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
