he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
