People in love make me want to vomit
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
