ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
