I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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