i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize