using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
