4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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