I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
