Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
