you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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