Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
