Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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