I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize