well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
