why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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