omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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