So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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