it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
BRING THE BAGELS
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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