I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
