Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
