AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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